I Rant:

Why are we content in our own little world? Selfish. Oh yes, selfish my friend. To have this gospel and not be sharing it. To be content with what life gives us. To be satisfied with the way we were raised. To squash our dreams with the status quo around us. Where are the trend-setting, non-conformist, revolutionary dreamers? Why are we not catching a fire and letting it burn within? Oh, I am so tired with the culture I inhabit. I despise the fact that people are not doing it the way it's never been done before. Just too eager to be nominal! I've never read of nominality in Scripture. We weren't created for the average. We are not vanilla ice cream people! Oh, but that's fine, that's exactly where Satan wants us. He's smiling you know.

-sam

Connections

I struggle with connections. Cognitive dissonance is what he called it. Where the rubber meets the road in life. Being a doer of the Word and not just a hearer only. The connection between belief and action. I've memorized this drama by heart. I know every line, every voice inflection, every cue. I know the director, the stage, the props, even the musical score, but it seems sometimes that I'm just acting. Simply knowing the part, repeating it to myself, but not believing in what the drama is all about. Familiarity and intelligence have numbed me, and I have so much regret to forget. Acting to try to be who I am.

It's 3:00 in the morning and I have just finished Paper #2.

-Sam

An All-Nighter with Coffee

Well its 1:34 AM. Here I am again. Blogging for the love of it.


I must share a confession with you...I love coffee. Walked out of my room earlier tonight and the hallway was filled with the scent of coffee. Oh, I loved it. I knew where it was coming from too. Isaac's room: clear on the other side of the dorm. Ahhh. I made my way over there a few minutes later, walked in the room, and pronounced, "Yoooou haaaave coffeee!" He smiled at me. In exchange for a cup of coffee I agreed to share the answers to the New Testament Test Review with him, at least the ones he had not already started on. That test should be easy tomorrow. I also have Principles of the Christian Life 2 test, a bit more difficult.

Went to the bathroom a second ago. Looked outside the window...it's raining. It was supposed to. How poetic for this long night.

Three and I went to the river this afternoon - that park next to the bridge. It was so beautiful out today. I'm glad I happened to 'be there at the right time' and was graciously invited to go along. It was really good to get out and enjoy the weather this afternoon since I have been cooped up doing all this pre-test homework. Found a beautiful spot between the parking lot and the river. The spot has stone bridge remains with pines and needle beds.

Easter weekend was so different for me this year. For one, I spent it away from home, with friends, at a different church. Went with a group of friends to Missie's house in the heart of Kentucky. We went horse back riding and I enjoyed breaking a blue eyed white horse into a gallop. We also enjoyed a fine tradition of sleeping till a fairly late hour in the morning. I regret not accomplishing as much homework as I wanted to. Okay, maybe I don't regret it. I had much fun. We took a walk at 2 in the morning down the road with the full moon in the sky. We also took an afternoon walk and had the dogs lag along with us. I had fun leap-frogging over people, even in surprise. I appreciated being in the country so much. Just being able to walk down the road, no cars, just comfortable clothes, slight wind, and perfect sun, talking and laughing. Her mom fed us in that familiar country family way in which felt I like royalty compared to cafeteria service. So delicious! Her sisters accent made me laugh. Come to find out her parents knew my family. Her father knew my elementary school teacher and has met and knows many relatives on my mom's side of the family. Too small of a world. Also found out her mom's girlfriend was "awestruck" by my father in college, during her single days. That just makes me laugh. Such a good weekend! We played Scum and watched movies too, had pillow fights, ate jellybeans, and just enjoyed each others company. I regret the blockbuster entertainment. This world's values and humor system are perverted and sickening. I cannot see Jesus enjoying that, and I did not. However, I should have been stronger in my convictions on intake of entertainment that clashes my views. Was also disappointed about not being able to traditionally watch The Passion

Am filled after fatherly correction with a renewed sense of purpose. Consistency. "Oh inconsistent me. Crying out for consistency."

Back to work.

-sAm

So Many Thoughts In My Head

So little time to share them. So many dreams I have, so little people who will dream with me.

She pegged it. Here I am...late, blogging once again. I just wanted to take the time to do so, although I really have a large load of homework to do before tests on Thursday. I have two Thursday, and an English Paper due Friday.


I gave blood for the first time yesterday which was an interesting experience. Wasn't too fond of the soreness the needle left in my arm, or the weakness it left me with, but I got food, a flower, and a sticker. Made me think of how much blood Jesus lost when He was crucified, and how weak he must have been. My pastor has said something to the effect of, "I never really can get discouraged or complain because everything pales in comparison to Calvary." That is so true.

Was sitting last night at my desk, staring out the window at the waning full moon, just enjoying the beauty of it. I am so glad that spring is finally here. I was able to drive with my window rolled down today and the music up loud. I love it. What a blessing to be in a new season. Before I know it, it will be warm and sunny all the time and soon the semester will be over. I feel very...I don't know. I can't put a word on it, or describe it. It's an odd feeling thinking back over my freshman year of college. Soon it will be spring break, then IHC, VIP day, and before it even sinks into my mind, the school year will be over. To think that it will soon be coming to an end, and as perception goes toward the end of all things, will be flying fast.

Time. It came. It went. What did I do?

Persecution, D-group, Easter Eggs & Passion

Excerpt from my notes in New Testament:
Sometimes I wonder how many of us would stick it out if we faced opposition. I know the wind and rain cause plants and trees to grow, and fire grows with the blowing wind. But what about us? What about me? (Some introspection here). We must have a God-focus. I wonder which among us would ultimately fall away, lag behind, quit, or give up. There are untold stories of the early church Christians that I think about. Okay, so eschatology does fascinate me, but come on! Christian persecution and opposition should stir us to greater things, turn the focus off ourselves and increase our trust in God.

So after two full days the rain has stopped. It turned into this thick wet snow which melted upon contact with the ground. All things must come to an end I suppose. D-group was very fun. Devotional was inspiring, food was awesome, and easter egg hunt was fun. Salami with cheese and crackers, sugar ball, (cream cheese, powdered sugar, crushed pineapple, sprinkles) cheesecurls, and mini candy bars! Mhmm!! I decided the best thing to do was to join the fun in the egg hunt. I really was scarred as a child...I never found as many eggs as everyone else. I just never understood why people should run like maniacs around the yard or house in search of eggs. Here were my rewards:


But I had fun tonight. I learned I should do my best, no matter what. Give the time I have right now to give the best of my energy all to the glory of God.

Lots of homework.
Big day tomorrow.
Fun weekend in store.

Passion. He had it. Do you?

-Sam

Lab

So lab was actually fun tonight, and I managed not to be affected by the sodium hydroxide (NaOH) which accidentally spilled on my hand. The label stated it is a severe tissue irritant. However, I have not experienced any results....yet! Ah, yes, test tubes, beakers, bunsen burners, things burning and turning colors, drops of iodine, alcohol, phenolphthalein solution: this is what Science lab is all about. Results! The fun stuff. I'm a results kinda guy.

I have a large list of homework in my black book which must be finished by tomorrow, to which I must quickly attend to. Today's chapel skit went well. It was truly a pleasure eating doughnuts in chapel dressed casually. I was very pleased how it went off. I am hoping (if it does its job right) that the drama will cause people to actually do something about the world around them.

You should've seen Brent pouring the leftover solutions from the test tubes into the disposal beaker. We wanted something to blow up!

Happy St. Patricks Day!
In honor of my Irish ancestry:
Excerpt from Veggie Tales Story of St. Patrick

Narrator: "They even worshipped pond scum."
Irish people: "Oh great pond scum!"
Then St. Patrick begins to speak,
St. Patrick: "God is like a shamrock."
Irish people: "Ooooooh, great shamrock!"
St. Patrick "No. No. No! God is like a shamrock. Three in one."

Maewensockit has a rather nice ring to it.

-Mr. Sam

Downtown

Went downtown tonight. Something I haven't really done - just for the sake of doing so, since I've been here in Cincinnati. Enjoyed it. Drove around a bit, parked and went into the Carew building, walked around the square and then up 4th St. to Starbucks. We hung out there for a while getting drinks, and looking at pictures and movies. Must say I really enjoy the aesthetics of downtown, I am like a kid at the zoo when I go down there. Looking up and seeing the moon waxing half full between skyscrapers was awesome. The temperature perfect - that cold hoodie spring weather. I am so glad that season is fast approaching us. I looked out the window today and saw two robins playing around. One of them will no doubt be sitting on twigs and pieces of grass and straw in a tree sometime soon. Cannot believe it's already soon time to register for FA08 classes. This semester's already half way gone.

The last week still seems like a blur. Promised myself I would explain my deep tiredness. To explain, I will tell you that Isaac and I have been working on a Seniors tribute video production for the last few weeks. It was an 11 min. video with text, pictures, video and sound - very professional looking. I really enjoyed doing it, but in retrospect have disgustingly regretted acquiescing to do a project that late. It came down to actually burning the DVD while I was dressing for the banquet. We really were rushed for time and I promised myself I would never agree to do something that large so late in advance. Live and learn I suppose. We (I & S Productions) have premiered two movies in the past two months and have gotten excellent reviews. We're really very happy. To be doing things that we love to do, getting our name out, so that we can do more projects in the future. Kind of develop a good name so that our good name can develop our dreams.

I shall not bore you with all the editing details. Know this, a lot goes into it: Audio, visual, synching, importing, exporting, color correction, editing, text, pictures, music, and re-doing, and re-trying many things that would not cooperate with us. It was very stressful, but may all the glory go to our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ who was our strength when we were tired.

NOTE: Bloopers are tentatively being shown in chapel, Monday March 24, 2008. Do not miss this!

Going to late night to have lots of fun....all I can do is smile and leave.

-your happy chum,
-Sam

Losing Consciousness

These last few days have been a blur to me. I hardly remember much of anything thats happened to me. So if you anticipate anything bad happening to you, just don't sleep for a few days and you'll hardly remember anything that's happened. It's a great technique I believe, the problem is knowing when something bad will happen. Lack of sleep has its consequences. I don't have any classes tomorrow so I took a long nap today. I do mean long. Went to bed at 2:18 and got up at 6:38, went back to bed at 7:00 and slept until 10:00 - an 8½ hour nap. I conked out. I've only gotten 16 hours of sleep I get in 4 days. That's half the normal amount. Before I took my nap I wrote this:

I think I'll go to bed
Lose consciousness and then
Wake up and start this day again

Now I have been up since then and doing various things in my room. I thank God that there are no classes tomorrow.

-your worn out blogger,
-Sam

Update!

I used to think. Now I....well, my mind has been stretched and stretched. Wrestling with sheets of thought pulled and twisted this way and that. I was thinking just now (dangerous, I know) and I thought of it. Here is what it was: I have always struggled with who I am. Self-identity and all that junk. *shrugs* Sure, it's a common thing, right...Right? *smiles* I know that God wants me to be a youth pastor, and that is who I am becoming but also God has created me with many other talents for which I am very grateful. I say that with humility, but my point is that I have always struggled with my love of the arts, writing, drawing, painting, designing, videography, photography, music and the such. How can I ever fill the image of "youth pastor" if I had a deep love of all these other things. Would people really see me as a capable youth minister? I realize I shouldn't care what people think in this situation. Heres what I became aware of: I am who I am. God has made me with passions for all of these things. The point is that I glorify Him through them all. Granted, socially and professionally I cannot fill all these positions, but God knows my dreams...my thoughts before I even think them. He will actually lead me as I trust Him and I've already seen some of my dreams re-birthed. Thank you God.

"I seldom went to bed before two or three o'clock in the morning, on the theory that if anything of interest were to happen to a young man it would almost certainly happen late at night." -E.B. White

So here we are in the early hours of Monday morning, working through the night on the video project. I must say when someone asked me last night how many hours we had put into it, I cannot honestly say. It would take me a couple minutes to actually count it. What we do promise is a professional looking video. It's been a long road full of many difficulties, but God has helped us. I'll be so glad when this project is over.

Back to work.

-Sam

Okay, I've Had Enough

I love the weather in northeastern Ohio. Ever since I got home I have watched the snow fall every day and enjoyed it immensely. In fact when I was on the phone today I was getting sick of it and just wanted to go outside and build a snowman or jump into the snow and just lay there. The only part of me that justifies not going out is the many things I have to do and the fact that I am going sled riding tomorrow so i will do it then. It's a horrible feeling - that feeling of adulthood. Where I'd just love to go out and play in the snow like a kid. Most everything inside of me just yells out, "I'm a kid at heart." So that's my vindication, and what a good notion - however old you get, never be too old to play in the snow!


Perhaps you may/may not have heard about it, but there is a bit of a local kerfuffle in my hometown area. My mother is following the sentencing religiously. Local former policeman murdered his nine month pregnant girlfriend by strangling her to death. It's a really sad story. I guess what bewilders me is how closely my mom is tracking the whole ordeal, listening to the radio for the final trial/sentence proceedings, the press conferences, etc. She even encourages us to turn it on and listen, which I think is a little too much. But I suppose its the fact that it's a local cop and a local story that arouses her interest, and the interest of her family, and even the entire town. Nothing peaks curiosity like a local story on crime that hits home. It's even on the front page of CNN.com - he was sentenced 57 years to life today escaping the death penalty. What I find very ironic is how the prosecution was so tight about the life of an unborn child and yet most of our society is okay with the fact that millions of unborn children are already purposefully murdered each year. *raises eyebrows*

Oh and another thing that makes me laugh and amuses me: we've been getting political calls on our answering machine. You know, those spiels on who to vote for. "Hope for America!" Ha.

We gotta phone call...church was cancelled tonight due to bad weather. I think I will go outside and play in the snow *smiles*

-Sam

Honey, I'm Home!

Welp, I'm home, and glad to be I must say. I arrived yesterday morning...but let me start at the "beginning". Mid-winter break started Wednesday at college but I didn't leave for a couple of days. I stayed around and cleaned, packed, and did homework. Must admit it was pretty lonely, about the only people that stay for break are the international students and the people who work. I did get a chance to play volleyball with the choir before they left and we watched a movie [Facing the Giants] the next night.

Mr. Shin found out that I was staying a few days during break and asked if I liked spicy food. After I told him yes, he said, "You come my room. Eat Korean. Spicy." I smiled and thanked him. Thursday he comes over at lunch and announces to me that I should come to his room in 20 minutes. I came as well as Yago, and he fixed us rice with a potato/onion/Korean sauce topping, cabbage with hot pepper sauce (which he says he goes through a [approx.] 2 lb. can a week), complete with dried seaweed squares. He showed us how to place the seaweed on top of the food and stuff it into our mouths and crunch it down. (It reminded me of a tastier, dried, more manly version of sushi) However, I gagged slightly at the texture of the seaweed. The taste wasn't horrible, but I cannot get past the texture. I said that it was "interesting". The next days lunch consisted of a much tastier Korean soup. A much better version of Ramen noodles. 2 packets of Korean noodles and 1 package of Ramen noodles, veggies, seasoning and three eggs. It was spicy and very good! So that was my Korean food experience. Mr. Shin has taught me a bit of Korean language and culture and I have enjoyed learning it and learning about him. After I thanked him (kam sa hab nida) he told Yago and I, "It is not those who have many possessions who are rich, but those who give away who are rich." I smiled and nodded my head.

Friday I hung out with Carrie. I met up with her after she had finished sled riding, and we went out for supper. Chipotle's. Afterwards we hit up the Loveland Goodwill. She makes shopping at Goodwill so much fun. In spite of the lady with yellow hair who smelled, and the girls who talked loudly across rows of clothes, and the cashier with crooked colored teeth and a few ounces too much makeup. I couldn't find a chair for my roommates but came away with an odd t-shirt. She got shoes and a gray sweatshirt. A perfect color for a rainy day. All the snow on the ground and it was raining. She made it a fun day. We adventurized and explored.

I guess that's where I got my adventurous spirit because I went to bed at 830PM that night and woke up (after resetting my alarm twice and going through 20 minutes of the snooze) at 350AM. After shower, coffee, devotions, and packing my car I left at 545. I drove amid the snow flurries and salty splashes of passing cars for four hours and stopped once for gas, doughnuts and an energy drink. Just me, Toby, and my music. I called Janette too and we talked for a little while. (She works nights @ the hospital.)

It feels odd coming home now. I feel so established in Cincinnati like that is my new home. It's great to be welcomed and feel loved by everyone, but I guess things are just different at home. I guess I'm starting to see pictures of what they talked about - things that I never really saw. Details are just details but the heart of it is spiritual warfare. I'm just tired of smiling at everybody, but they make me smile, and I feel like smiling, I have much to smile about, I guess it's just when you come home from college everyone says "Hi". [I could never live the life of a celebrity.] That's not what I'm comparing it to!...just all the people glad to see me, and the smiling....okay I'm diggin a hole here, I'll stop.

Decided on writing my essay on loneliness. Got a little taste of it on break. It definitely affected me. I'm also going to do homework all break so that I will be free for the video project when I get back, and just the ease of no homework for a little while. Sure it's weird doing homework on break, but I'd like to get ahead.

One more thing, it snowed bunches before I left Cinci, that made me happy. Finally all this snow!....and no school to appreciate the day off. Such...is...life.

Well I'm tired...Maybe the update was too long. *shrugs*
*nods goodbye*

-Sam

Happy today, somewhere in the middle of winter

I appreciate this day.

I first heard Dr. Phil speak on modesty this morning [PCL2] and heard him say things that a friend of mine and I discussed very recently and said to myself, "It's about time." 2nd period: I preached for the first time in Intro. to Homiletics and it went very well. Third period we had no quiz and watched a video. Now that constitutes a good class. Fourth: Physical Science test, which was not all that hard. At lunch today I sat down with Mel, Mr. Profitt, and Dr. Phil, talked about conjugating the word 'text', and dying to self. Was surprised when Dr. Phil complimented me on the quality of my homework in his class. Humbled me to know that what I did was 'beyond average' I intend to use my God-given intelligence for His glory. Speaking again in Teen Power this evening: same topic as my sermon, but I will bring it from a college level to a teen level, add more application.

It's cold outside today - typical of winter. The wind is extra fierce - made my eyes water.

Here's a quote from my roommate. Enjoy!

"I can’t resist a good cheesecake. I can’t resist a good nap. So goodbye cruel world." -Nolan Sams

-Sam McConkey

I Must Blog

Yes, I must. I told Melissa that I would explain...It's snowing outside, the wind is whipping around, the snow is falling down, and as we exited the building with the weather in our faces all I could hear was the sound of wind and heels. Yes, that click-clack of high heels hitting the cement. A very cool sound, please don't misunderstand me. I attach no bad-connotation to it, but I think that the connotation is one of style, arrogance, and feminism. A "listen-to-my-heels-click" mentality. Granted, here at bible college, I would not accuse any girl of this notion. In our modern culture stylish, sexy, and feministic (femi-nazi) are what goes, and perhaps that is what I associate it with - forgive me. It is simply what pops into my head when I hear the sound. Just like I will not eat Tilapia (very good tasting type of fish) anymore because the last time I ate it I was very sick and lost it. It is the whole sound-image/action pyschology thing.

Blasted snow won't stick to the ground! Today's weather was very weird. It snowed all day and barely any of it stuck to the ground. The temperature is hovering around freezing so that any snow we got melted. This gives the snow turning into water effect, and the sun shining while it snows. Also, while it was snowing I heard a loud peal of thunder and Mylon said that he saw a flash of lighting...in a snow storm! No, I'm not kidding. Now my intelligent guess is that being that it was snowing, but fairly warm all day, the warm temperature collided with the cold snow and created the thunder/lighning. I mean, isn't that how thunderstorms start, warm and cold air coming together. Thereby causing a tornado/blizzard. So now we have powdered sugar in the grass, and the wind is still whipping and snowflakes and sporadicaly dancing through the air as the night begins.

So I preach for the first time in my life tomorrow. Topical sermon on selfishness. Opening joke/quote, a few examples with text from the Bible on selfishness, an illustration and a main text with application at the end. Should go well (with God's help).

So do you ever get those feelings of confusion, where you don't know what you just said or why you said it. I do. I confuse myself. Things were particularly crazy studying for my Physical Science test in the library with Vita and Leanna tonight. Let's just say that.

Oh look. I got my hair cut.



I love how everyone states the obvious. It's so amusing. "Oh, you got your hair cut." "I see you got your hair cut." "Did you get your hair cut?" "Wow, your hair's gone." D-U-H. I have been thinking of various responses to give to people when they comment about my sudden "loss of hair" or rather decrease in length of hair follicles on my head. My general response has been, "I lost my wig." or "Delilah did it." In fact, I am quite worried that Philistines will pop around the corner at any moment and take my weak body captive and pluck my eyes out! Agh, oooh! The good news that is that I have had a few people compliment me on my cut. However, there was one unhappy soul who was not elated but shocked at my hair cut, he said that he liked it long. Oh well. The deed's been done. Mr. Parriman even asked who I was. Here are the general responses: "Hey, you got your hair cut." or "Hey, I like your hair. Looks good." or "Is that you? I didn't even recognize you at first."

Okay now that I've rambled on about my hair cut...

Winter break is almost here. What do you think about that?

-Sam

The Heart

Well, tomorrow is Anti-Singles Day, or Valentines Day as most of you like to call it. Happy loving to all you couples out there. I am content with being patient. No really. Maybe I look like a guy who's got it all together, but it's hit me hard and God has had to teach me a lot about relationships. Therefore, I am developing discernment and practicing patience amid a sea of crazed couples here on campus. Not to mention the shocking comments on couples and Valentines Day made by President Avery in chapel today. He is Mr. Matchmaker at his best. I must confess I wish I had the time to elaborate on "the true meaning of Valentine's Day" like I would on the meaning of Christmas, but I shall leave the research up to you. I know I will sound cheesy, but I will say it anyway. Jesus is my valentine, and I have plenty of friends for valentines. So no thank you Hallmark Card Company, no thank you Hersheys, and no thank you Mr. Avery. Wait, forget what I said about Hershey's.

"We need to learn this secret of the burning heart...The burning heart - a heart that can go through anything. It is the simple, dreary day, with is commonplace duties and people, that smother the burning heart - unless we have learned the secret of abdiding in Jesus....If the spirit of God has stirred you, make as many of your decisions as possible irrecovable, and let the consquences be what they will. We cannot stay forever on the "mount of transfiguration," basking in the light of your mountaintop experience. But we must obey the light we recieved there; we must put it into action. When God gives us a vision, we must transact business with Him at that point, no matter what the cost." -The Burning Heart, Oswald Chambers

I was stirred as Mr. Klotz read Chambers in tonight's D-group. My prayer is, "Father, I want a heart that burns."

Call your mom. Tell her you love her.

-Samuel

Poetry, Prose and Yiddish

Thought I'd post some poetry and prose.

LITTLE WHITE FLAGS

Surrender!
White flags all over the battleground
Bodies and dirt strewn all around
There lies self fallen down
Surrender!
Little white flags on battleground

ON EFFECTIVENESS

Drama, or indeed any presentation [textual, visual, audibal] (especially in ministry) needs to have these three criteria met in order to be truly effective. It must first be entertaining. An entertaining presentation engages the audience and arouses interest in the subject you are presenting. Secondly, it must be enlightening. By enlightening we mean that the presentation must increase the knowledge and understanding of the audience, specifically in a spiritual manner. Finally, the presentation must be inspiring, which causes the individual to take the information he receives and put it into practice. It is essentially a call to action. If any one of these things are lacking, the presentation won't be as powerful as it should be. Without these three dimensions any drama, speech, or presentation would not reach its full potential, and would render it defective and unfulfilling.

-I.W. Owens
-S.L. McConkey
-N.D. Sams


"Shaineh raineh keporah"
[Yiddish]
"Nothing to regret"

-Sam