Tuesday, September 29, 2009


This is before my surgery. Right before I found out I had an incurable disease.

I'm at the hospital on my lunch break, (Just realized I used historical present tense for all you Greek scholars out there. Romans 7) Anyway, I just finished my chili and am sitting in a waiting area reading my book with the time I have left. This little boy trots up to the water fountain. Now he's about 5 years old and the same height as the fountain. His mother tags along behind him. He runs up to the fountain and turns it on and leans in. Then, a second later he turns around with a cringing look on his face and tells his mother, "Eww, up my nose."

I also went to Winton Woods Park a couple of weeks ago and on the way back passed a United Methodist Church that offered Yoga for parishioners on a weeknight and Meditation on Mondays at 7PM. I laughed incredulously.

And I just had the most amazing apple pie that my roommate made. I was impressed. Of course, he did call his mother on this whole ordeal. *strokes chin thoughtfully*


Whatevah happened to 'da distinction of 'da classes?

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Little Pieces

My life feels like a hundred little pieces right now. All this disorganization and chaos. I'm living out of cardboard boxes. There are a lot of questions I don't have answers to, and won't for a while. I'm trying to catch up with all my classes and homework. I'm torn between the privileged and the routine. The temporary apartment is so nice, but I'm torn between it and my longing for the normal. The routine. The scheduled. The semi-permanent. The comfortable.

And I'm healing.


That's how I am.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

It's As If You Were Sitting Across the Room From Me, Friend...

Hi guys.

Candid time.


I'm here at the apartment. The pain is lessening every day. I showered myself today. That's a big deal for me. I still feel very weak. The most painful thing I did today was sneezed. I tensed up my abdominal muscles and it turned out very weird, like a stifled sneeze. I took my medication. I ate half a bowl of chicken noodle soup. I'm not sure when I will be able to physically or mentally go back to class. I think I can handle collateral reading, so I might start that tomorrow.

I'm so glad to be out of the hospital. You sit there and see people moving around with no pain, and laughing, eating, lifting things, walking around, and you think, If only these people knew how absolutely wonderful it is to be doing those things. What a privilege!

I don't know why I'm going through this. God is perfecting me, somehow. He's got a plan. I'm not too blind to see that. But it is quite confusing being in the middle of it. The pain, the disease, is teaching me something. It hurts. I don't know why. I don't know what. But whatever brings my God glory. Emergency surgery has a why of rearranging your life and it's perspectives and priorities. Today my concerns were shelter, food and hygiene.

Until later, I remain a recovering lover of God.

Friday, September 18, 2009


Well, I am...better...well enough to be mobile and walk in the hallways. Still not fully recovered, but the doctors say that I am progressing really fast. My diet has changed from nothing to clear liquids, and I only have minimal pain when moving around. You'd be surprised how much an incision in your stomach affects just about every move you make, especially turning in bed. I am still receiving a steady intake of drugs and have visits all the time from medical personnel. (Therefore, I can't get much sleep.) Thanks for all your thoughts and prayers.

From the hospital,

WANTED: Available students to do homework for me. Any expertise in Greek II? Contact Room 5030 at the Hospital.