Wednesday, December 31, 2008

I'm [Not] Alright

Pap-Pap went home on Monday afternoon. He's with Dad and I'm sure he's ecstatic right now. It's been interesting dealing with a loss that I've been emotionally prepared for. Dad's death was sudden and Grandpa's was long and drawn out. Heart attack. Cancer. Not only that but it goes against the order of life. Viewing/funeral is on Thursday/Friday. I don't want to do it.

"I'm not alright/I'm broken inside/Broken inside/And all I go through/it leads me to you/Leads me to you/Burn away the pride/Bring me to my weakness/Until everything I hide behind is gone/And when I'm open wide/with nothing left to cling to/Only you are there to lead me on/And I move/And I move/And I move/Closer to you/Honestly, I'm not that strong/I'm not alright/that's why I need you"[Sanctus Real]

My soul, wait in silence for God only, for my hope is from Him. He only is my rock and my salvation. My stronghold; I shall not be shaken. Trust in Him at all times...Pour out your heart before him. [PS62:5.6.8]

I've been spending most of my time reading books for next semester. Really have enjoyed the cults book. Now all I need is a create your own cult kit.

I've also hung with Mel too, and lounged at home. It's been good to relax.

Target: Made some returns and went shopping too. Acquired some cool stuff. Plaid cap. Plaid is dope. Sweet LS t-shirts. External hard drive (on sale).

Recently this melody has been going through my head, and I've hit it out on guitar and piano. "Your mercies are new every morning. Your faithfulness reaches to the skies. Your lovingkindness is better than life. And your love is mine. I will praise you, for you are my God. I will praise you God above all gods."

Anyway. All for now.

-Sammy

7 comments:

TKB said...

Hey, I'll be praying for your family and you. Take care!

Alanna said...

praying...so sorry.

Unknown said...

Hang in there, man. I'll be praying for you.

Megobuddy said...

It's interesting, I just finished writing a post before reading yours and it seems we both had the same thing in mind...God's goodness to us.

With two completely different families, I experience both lifestyles - life with Christ and life without. Sometimes I leave both homes feeling so empty inside. But after reading your blog, and Tiffany's, and everyone else's I just thank God for friends who love Him just as much as I do, and who want to serve Him forever. It's being with you all that makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside.

I will be praying for you Sam.

Dorcas said...

Sam,
We're so sorry for the loss of your Grandfather!! I can imagine him & your Dad having a big time together in Heaven!! The separation is never easy, so we have to think what it will be like for us when we get to go where they are!!

Lil Joe... said...

*hug*
you may keep my scarf as long as you want

Melissa Phelps said...

!;'".!*(-).?