Okay, so I'm in an admitting mood, but allow me to be stubborn. Let me discuss your comment. The friendly platonic relationships, yes, they may be rare and far between, but what I pound my fist at is the curving trend towards a double black diamond ski hill: a dangerous slope. Think the metaphor through. Perhaps this is just all in my head. Perhaps I am some "unlucky" victim. Perhaps I blow it beyond proportion. Perhaps it's getting to me......Perhaps. But it seems to me that today we are either single or in a serious relationship with the opposite sex. I have been accused - and I know accused is a strong word - of being interested or involved in a dating relationship with four girls! [Am not here to boast, God looks on the heart] My head says that the heartcry of many young people similar to myself (in Christian loves and values) male and female, is that they could simply just have friendly relationships with members of the opposite sex without people assuming they are chasing after a date. I sigh heavily with grief. I simply believe that although they may be rare, I state that I believe many people honestly want friendly, platonic relationships. Now there is also the whole motive of having these friends and relationships with ulterior "dating material" motive, but spare me, I beg of thee. I, for example know of two other people who are interested in such. And sure when you put the math against it theres not many of us, but we do feel this way. So there I've said it, and perhaps you will not fully understand, I doubt many will. So tell me, what do you think?
6 comments:
I hear ya. And I have the same desire. Sometimes though, unfortunately, we can't have what we want without damaging others. Check out 1 Cor. 7:34. If a gentleman's desire for platonic relationships with the opposite sex is damaging girls' ability to adhere to the principle of this verse for some reason, he needs to seriously consider giving up his "wants" for the greater good of his sisters in Christ. You seem to be one of the unfortunates males who ladies can't get enough of (wink)... and therefore I think you fall under the category I mentioned above.
I leave you with a quote, which is true not across the board... but I think if you analyze your experience at college you'll have to agree to an extent, and base your actions on this:
Nietzsche- "Far too long hath there been a slave and a tyrant concealed in woman. On that account woman is not capable of friendship: she knoweth only love."
Sad, huh?
Good post.
sad? No. let me say this: I am totally willing to limit my Christian liberty for the spiritual benefit of someone else, in this case a Christian young lady. However, according to your usage of 1 Cor. 7:34 platonic relationships would only be harmful/wrong if they caused an "unmarried woman" NOT "to be concerned about the Lord's affaris/the things of the Lord" It is both the female's responsibility in verse 34, and the male's responsibility in verse 32 to see how they can please the Lord. Also, please take into consideration the context of this chapter: marriage. The point here is undivided devotion to the Lord. As long as there is a willingness to limit each other's liberty and a strong undivided devotion to the Lord I wouldn't freak out about platonic relationships. The true problem is ulterior motives in these relationships and a weak devotion to God and willingness only to do what you want. Concerning Nietzsche's quote: Yes, it is true: women know love, but talk to other girls, ones who love Jesus. Love is not the only thing they know. They do have the ability to know friendship, although in the back of their minds it swims there: love/marriage/family. Also, Nietzsche was a very big believer that friendship is a strong ingredient for a good marriage. Read his quotes. All I can say is, I know what a platonic relationship with the opposite sex is, and to the best of my knowledge I have not damaged my friends' walk with the Lord.
anyway...I think our comments/opinions are heavily influenced.
Wow, good discussion guys! But I thought it seemed liked you needed an actual female perspective on this. This whole platonic relationship is not really something that exists in many girl's vocabularies. Wether we admit it or not, we are wired for relationships that go deeper and deeper. And if a guy is constantly there for us, it is going to build up to something more. If you try your best to keep the relationship surface and treat her like most other girls you are in contact with that is one thing. But if you give her alot of time, attention, and good friendship I think alot of girls just naturally start desiring something more. Let me know what you think. I'm very impressed with what you have come up with already.
I utterly agree. VERY well said leanna. ~Danielle
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