Something Is Wrong With This World

I walked into my room earlier tonight to the sight of a fellow dorm mate holding an extended gun. My roommate stands on the other side of the room stuffing a book down his pants. I think: what is wrong with this world?

Several weeks ago, Oprah Winfrey hosted an American Idol star on her television show who began shedding tears as they discussed the star's deceased dog. I sat there in incredulous shock. Something is wrong with this world.

-Sam

Adriana

Honey roasted cashews: they are so good. I'm sitting here at my desk with a cup of sweet tea, finishing paper number three. I am also happy to announce that I have just named my black Mac computer: Adriana. It means 'dark'. She has served me faithfully for months and I decided it was finally time to name her. I also have names for my ipod: Neo, my pillow: Carlisa, my car: Toby, my rubber duckie: Chino, and my monkey: Mr. Mo Heckles.


Today was the Spring Picnic at which we were required to have fun, as authorized by the Vice President of Student Affairs. I did, at least in the painful sense, "Ow, that hurt, but that was so much fun!" I seem to have a knack for hitting my head these past two days. I got hit in the face twice with the basketball last night, and today I got my face hit by Pinky's cleat as I was making a play at first base. I also fired a home run to left center but incidentally ran my face smack into the catcher as she backed up to catch the incoming ball at home plate. My nose is still sore, my face hurts, my head is sore, my sinuses ache, but I'm still smiling. It was quite...refreshing, being able to be out in the sun today and acquire that rosy hue to my face and forearms. I played softball, frisbee and went boating. Much fun!

I shall stop procrastinating now and go finish my paper.

-Sam

I Am Sam

Here I sit, in the early morning hours of this day. I look out my window and see the full moon hanging there in space, a pearly glowing light against the black sky. Welling up inside me is an almost inexpressible gratitude. Just to be sitting here enjoying the beauty of the moon! I am so blessed materially because of God. I have been redeemed and brought from destruction. I am perfectly healthy. I have arms and legs. [People look at me weird when I mention my gratitude for small, commonplace things. Just google Nick Vujicic. It will change your perspective!] I am lacking nothing. I am normal in the undefinable sense of the word. While I'm here let me say that I am perfectly comfortable with who I am. It's all because of Jesus. I have learned through what God's done for me that I am a unique, intelligent and loved individual. I really can't say on my own that I have gotten here, but it has been through knowing God in a relationship that I have purpose, direction, happiness, satisfaction, and contentment. I am content with who I am. I am Sam.

Awake But Not Conscious

I seriously feel drugged. I'm experiencing extreme fatigue right now, a lack of motivation to do anything. In fact I'd prefer to curl up in a ball, die and go home. For all of you who were wondering, I decided to take a small nap this afternoon and fell into an unpremeditated subconsciousness that lasted for several hours. I recall dreaming, but about what I do not know. I woke up to a phone call from Shane. My phone was ringing and I could not find it. I soon discovered it under my bed. I have no idea how it got there. My phone showed me a text and several missed calls. I was very frustrated and felt bad about missing my ministry this evening. Recent continuous lack of sleep has driven me to exhaustion and fatigue, even to the point where now I do not feel well. In spite of all this, my God still has not changed, and never will. That is all I rest in.

Lesson of the Week

Life's not easy. Get used to it.

"On my good days I'm an optimist." -Leanna Martin

It's hard living between self-sufficiency and an unhealthy reliance on God to do everything. I used to have the problem of wanting to do my own thing, but now it feels to me that I would rather back off and let God lead totally. It's easy for me to be lazy. (Although I'm not sure its difficult for others.) I choose my words carefully here, but what I mean is that it's easy for me to step back and let God control my life in such a way that I do not do anything but let him lead. It's easier to depend on God and not make any decisions, (to wait for a sign from Heaven or something), than to employ my brain and step up and make decisions based on my God-given knowledge, intelligence and wisdom. It's a fine line really, but it's my life that must be lived - somewhere between a selfish rebel and a lazy mannequin.

There are...
So many things I've been wanting to do...
So many questions in my head...
My weariness drowns them out...

Gazebo Again

Spending some time, well, enjoying some time here at Eden Park, at the gazebo again. Seth, Mel, Lana, Ike, and I are all studying, based on the decision that we wanted to go outside with our blankets and accomplish some homework. We sarcastically commented that we were coming simply coming strictly to study. This was said with slurred speech, smirks, and smiles. They are having an "adventure race" in the park today. The costumes are crazy. I believe first place goes to the two man team with burgundy bedsheets complete with winged camouflage hats. Second place goes to the couple with yellow shirts each individually and appropriately titled, "Macaroni" and "Cheese". Third place goes to the red outfitted couple with blue and white hair (to which Mel replied, "That's not real [hair]?").

Le is pondering why she is writing an essay. Mel and I retorted with a list. (Which is a great thing to do in case anyone ever asks any kind of question.)

Why Leanna Is Writing An Essay

1. Christian worldview (no idea what that means)
2. Good life experience (it's broadening)
3. It helps us think deeply about surface ideas
4. You'll thank me later, in other words, why not?
5. Increases creativity
6. Grade, passing college, general life happiness (because Mr. Profitt said so)
7. You'll probably learn to enjoy it. If not, you'll get over it

And here is the poem I promised on a realist's look on spring and the falling flower petals in Eden Park in Cincinnati...

A Realist's Look

Springtime snow
Little white petals falling
Blooming trees in spring
Blossoms bloomed
Trees are doomed
To die
But wait real quick
Before you pass judgment
They die every year
Morbid? No
Let's not begin another poem on death
Life may be a vapor
But it's also trees blooming in spring
From seeming dead trees
Little green buds appear
Symbols of spring here
Pink, lilac, and white
Trees in color bloom
Erasing all doom
That the winter brought
So before accusations
Of morbidity and pessimism
The truth of realism
Lies in the fallen dying petals
Life may be a vapor
But it's also trees blooming in spring

Breaking the Mold in Beautiful Weather

Dear Mold Breaker

I agree with the fact that you shouldn't let anything squish you into a mold.
(Not a big supporter of molds)

Perhaps the thing that gives me the greatest comfort and joy right now is that because of IHC I don't have classes tomorrow. That and I had a good day, especially getting to go to Eden Park for a time of walking, talking and prayer. It was for one of my classes here at school. The weather is so nice today. (Okay, I know I shouldn't really talk about the weather, but I gotta be happy when it's so nice outside!) I went later on today to Eden Park to study and play frisbee. Isaac also pulled out his tubes and brushes and set to work on a piece.



I also took a few pictures, just messing around with the sun and lighting effects.


Tonight I went to Teen Power and played a game of basketball.


Now...
I am whupped.

-Sam

Anyone?

So is there anyone out there other than me, that is suffering from a huge lack of motivation?

Well I stayed up until 4 o'clock this morning, and got up at five for a shower and spent some time with God before class. You may think I'm crazy to wake up that early, but it's the only time I have in the day where I'm not busy doing something. I enjoyed drama practice today: for the first time in my life, I get to pretend that I am dead in a play! This thrills me. Can anyone doubt that?Also cleaned my room today for Mr. Parriman's Iron Hammer Room Check. Ms. V's White Glove Room Check was also going on tonight across campus. I suppose the White Glove beats the Iron Hammer as far as crackdown, but I will not deny or argue the innate tendencies of the female populous to shame us guys in their cleaning skills. I shall leave the rest for your interpersonal debate. *smiles*

Thought I would leave a few pictures from the weekend. A group of us went out to Eden Park on a Friday evening strictly to study. It was beautiful there.





=


I unfortunately, did not get a whole lot of studying done, but succeeding in enjoying myself while there. I climbed up into the gazebo rafters and sat reading above everyone else. The oddity of oddities happened while I was sitting there. A lady come over while we were all studying and began staring around and up at the gazebo. After about half a minute she asked if there were any electrical outlets anywhere. We told her no, and then as she walked off, we looked at each other with incredulous looks and laughter.

IHC and VIP day coming up within the next few days here. It feels very odd to be experiencing everything as a GBS student. In fact it feels very weird to be saying that I am finishing up my freshman year of college. Can I just stop time?!?

The DOW Office

We are playing scum. There is a little note posted in the Dean of Women's office here at God's Bible School & College. It is full of innocence wit, humor and sarcasm:

"Dryers aren't drying all the way." -says Angel
"If you put more quarters in, it will dry longer, or maybe the load is just too big." - says Laura
"I agree with Laura." -says Dixie
"I believe the second statement is true." -says Valerie
"Did you empty the lint trip?" -says Ike
"Did you put your clothes in?" -says Keith

Here's another quote:
"It rains and I'm like, "Woe is me."' -Katie Bucher, speaking in class on her gratitude to God for the recent warm spring weather.

I love it.
-Sam

Spring and Stuff. What?

It is so beautiful today. Stop! Have you paid attention to the weather recently? Now hating small talk, this is the last topic I actually want to talk about, but I just wanted to let all of you hibernators know that now is the time to emerge!


Decided to do my homework outside today, by the fountain. I just decided that I wanted to enjoy the God-given weather. I am. The sunshine. The light wind. It's The soft roar of the water fountain which occasionally spits drops of water my way, or flicks a shot of misty water when the wind picks up. Who can argue with 71 degree weather? It is absolutely and thoroughly enjoyable out here. The campus is abuzz with people going here and there. Maintenance is working hard at beautifying this campus. So the grass is actually green now,


and the trees are budding - that makes me happy.

In recourse, I must confess my hesitation in all this joy of spring time because I have allergies which will soon begin to effect me with all this grass, trees and pollen coming to life.
Melatonin - that's what they call it. It's a hormone that the body generates when the body is exposed to sunshine. This hormone produces feelings of happiness and general contentment (similar to hormonal feelings of being "in love"). So now you know why you like this weather so much.
I also observed that (myself included) many people are wearing green today. [Okay, random!] May I again comment on how quickly the semester is coming to an end? A few more weeks and it'll be over. Now for some of you that's very scary, for others its a joy beyond compare.
I cannot recount all of what's happened over the past few days in which I had good intentions to blog about things that have happened, but due to busyness I have not. It's really a curse here at college: busyness. I have (regrettedly) gotten four hours of sleep in two nights previous and last night acquired a meager six hours to which afterwards I woke up 3 minutes before my first class started this morning. But things are good, in spite of the fact that I should be sleeping right now, I have been doing very well disciplining myself and God has really blessed the times when we spent time together. My advice? Don't get discouraged. Go outside and enjoy the weather. Spend some time talking with God and getting quiet listening to him.

Enough for now.

-Sam

Oh, and that little bird still sits at the corner of the dorm and sings. I wish he would sing his heart out.

Self-Discipline

A refreshing mist is falling outside.
Just enough to make [her] hair sparkle
And to make me feel alive inside
Or maybe it's just adding to the joy I already feel



I went to the library today to do some homework and to blog a little bit. The misty rain was so refreshing while I was walking that I just wanted to talk a long walk in it, or just sit and enjoy it. I was thinking this morning during my devotions why those verses Dr. Brown shared with us are so important. They allow us to daily become God-focused. Psalm 34:1: "I will bless THE LORD at all times, HIS praise shall continually be in my mouth." Psalm 118:24: "This is the day THE LORD has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it." Those verses involve focusing on God and a conscious choice to glorify Him. There is nothing more dangerous than to focus life on ourself.

Today in chapel Mr. Glick spoke on self-discipline: that dreaded subject, and antithesis of the self-centered nature, that thing to which I give a grimaced smile. Today, however, I eagerly anticipated this and actually took notes. Here you go: 2 Peter 1:5-6 - What would your life be like if you developed more self-discipline?

➊ Your spiritual life will flourish
▩ Whatever it means we will have to do it. Sometimes the only thing that stands between you and God is self-control
➋ Your health will improve
▩ Exercise, diet, health - 3 John 2
➌ Your academics will be acceptable
▩ The less reading, writing and schoolwork the happier we are. Let's stop goofing off, socializing and buckle down -
2 Timothy 2:15
➍ Your abilities will be maximized
▩ God gives us talents and then expects us to maximize it with self-control
➎ Your finances will be in order
▩ A self-disciplined person will know between needs and desires.
➏ Your relationships will be pure
▩ [Young people] don't fail [in relationships] because they're immoral or overtly evil, they just play with fire and go into situations they know will not be good for them.
➐ Your temper will be tamed
▩ Be slow in getting angry - Ephesians 4:26-27
➑ Your words will be moderated
▩ Our tongues reveal what we think and who we are - James 3
➒ Your priorities will be right
▩ You'll know what's important and you'll do it. You can't be a success and do your own thing
➓ Your life will be balanced
▩ Pray, study, sleep exercise, socialize

However, not wanting to stop short, Dr. Phil initiated a discussion in our 4th period ministerial meeting on practical application of this subject. We talked about alarm clocks and various things, but the most important things to think about in discipline are these: values, benefits, consequences, grace, and response. To answer the question, "Now what?" in response to the message here are five things we must think about: [1] Values. What do I value? (Make a list!) Where is this particular action on my list of values? You are generally highly motivated to do what you highly value. [2] Benefits. What are the benefits to disciplining myself, especially in any action? e.g. waking up! [3] Consequences. What consequences will I pay if I do not discipline myself? Where will I end up as a result of the lack of self-control? [4] Grace. Pray for grace (the desire and power to do God's will). [5] Response. Respond to the grace that God gives us to discipline ourselves and live for His glory.

"People avoid pain and seek pleasure." However if we will endure temporary periods of pain, our long term pleasure will be much greater. For example, when excercising (spiritually and physically) it is painful the first time we work out but if we want a certain result we will endure that pain to achieve anything. Reminds me of those people with prosthetic legs who win races.

Cognitive dissonance. Here's where we fall short: the habituation of the actions we willfully choose to do. Amidst those things we purpose to do, lie shortcuts and unknown trails which we often dangerously take. They are simple trailposts of self-indulgence, billboards that advertise laziness in flashy colors, neon signs that spell out "Lackadaisical", trailheads that make complacency look good, and city limit signs for 'Apathy City'.

Personally that's the easiest thing for me to do: not to discipline myself. But life revolves around discipline, and without it we are nothing! Here's a quote we were given in the meeting: "The test of your character is what it takes to stop you."




Enough said.

-Sam

Unlike Life, This is a Game

What I Was Doing 10 Years Ago:
1. Wearing a black t-shirt with a yellow number 7 on it aspiring to be the next Kenny Lofton
or the next big lead-off hitter for a major league baseball team
2. Singing while mowing the lawn
3. Pretending to be 'Gray Wolf' and have Senecan Indian council meetings

Five Things On My "To-Do List" Today:
1. Do homework
2. Mail letters
3. Purchase textbook
4. Blog
5. Have fun at late night

Four Snacks That I Particularly Enjoy:
1. Gummy fruit
2. Cookies
3. Pretzels
4. Nuts

Four Things I Would Do If I Were a Billionaire:
1. Start my own creative design company (clothing line, graphic design, & video production)
2. Build my own house and completely design it
3. Invest money in high interest return accounts and the church
4. Invest in Christian peoples lives by blessing them financially

Three of My Bad Habits:
1. Rolling back into bed after my alarm has gone off
2. Going to bed really late
3. Curling my hair/playing with my face

Two Places I Have Lived:
1. Massillon, OH
2. Cincinnati, OH

Four Jobs That I Have Had:
1. Jacob Glick Construction
2. Hiram's Roofing
3. Daniel Glick Construction/Repair
4. JC Expess/Kraftmaid Cabinet Delivery

I can't believe I did this.

Mind-blank

I have forgotten so many things about which I had thought of blogging about.

Fool!

My mocha exploded. Her chai is too hot. Lana learns how to eat a muffin. Looks like a doughnut now. Took some time on this tuesday morning to go get some coffee downtown. It's a wet chilly day - hoodie weather...

So I didn't exert any energy or thought today into pulling a prank on anyone. Being April Fool's Day I most certainly could have, I just didn't feel like it. It seems rather immature to me, I don't know. I have before, I'm just getting old I suppose, and I was tired when I actually thought of it being April Fool's. What about the fool? A fool says in his heart that there is no God. A fool shows his annoyance. A fool finds pleasure in evil conduct. A fool despises wisdom and discipline. A fool gives full vent to his anger. A fool shows his annoyance. A fool's complacency will destroy him. A chattering fool comes to ruin. Sometimes I feel like a fool in regards to complacency and discipline, but in searching I find an answer comes to me in the form of a question, "Does not wisdom call out?" (Pro. 8:1)

Spent the day doing many things: picked up tax papers, filled up my car with gas, had a duplicate key cut for my car, acquired snacks for college at the bulk food store, ate two wonderful bowls of chili, completed a fair amount of homework, and spent time hanging out with a couple friends of mine: one at her house and the coffee shop downtown, the other at Starbucks just to talk.



Tomorrow I go back home, or to my (as my roommate so quaintly puts it) "Dorm-sweet-dorm" in Cincinnati.

Simply,
Sam