Life's not easy. Get used to it.
"On my good days I'm an optimist." -Leanna Martin
It's hard living between self-sufficiency and an unhealthy reliance on God to do everything. I used to have the problem of wanting to do my own thing, but now it feels to me that I would rather back off and let God lead totally. It's easy for me to be lazy. (Although I'm not sure its difficult for others.) I choose my words carefully here, but what I mean is that it's easy for me to step back and let God control my life in such a way that I do not do anything but let him lead. It's easier to depend on God and not make any decisions, (to wait for a sign from Heaven or something), than to employ my brain and step up and make decisions based on my God-given knowledge, intelligence and wisdom. It's a fine line really, but it's my life that must be lived - somewhere between a selfish rebel and a lazy mannequin.
There are...
So many things I've been wanting to do...
So many questions in my head...
My weariness drowns them out...
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